Bud Ice

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Today’s mistake: Bud Ice. The blackout is back, and it’s better than ever.

Bud Ice

5.5% alcohol by volume

24 ounce can

Price: $2.99

Sorry for the absence, team. I’m back. I was in Philadelphia for a few days and without computer access. In a way, it was really nice. Unfortunately, I left everyone in the dark during one of the greatest blackout holidays there is – Halloween. The good news is that I spent my time collecting some absolute GEMS. I have seven of the nastiest, cheapest, blackoutiest liquid fiends ready to unleash hell on my central nervous system. I went a little crazy and bought a few imports as well. Look for some cheap swill from Spain, Africa, Singapore, and some others in the next few days. On to the Bud Ice…

Fun fact: Bud Ice is the first beer I ever tried. I was a wee lad, maybe seven or eight, and I saw a lone Bud Ice in the garage fridge of my house. I’d noticed it before, and I think the past residents of the house actually left it there, because my mother did not care for beer. I’m not sure how else it would have gotten there. Anyway, I played with the thought of drinking it a few times, but always talked myself out of it (or I was just scared). One summer day, I was bored, and tired of playing N64, so I went into the garage, opened up the fridge, and pulled out a 12 ounce can of Bud Ice. All the crappy beer commercials and refreshment talk got me excited for something so perfectly crisp and delicious that I’d have to immediately drink the whole thing. I can still remember the can: slightly dented on the top, likely skunked, and absolutely freezing cold. I popped it open, took a sip, and made this face. I couldn’t believe how nasty it was. I poured out the rest and resumed my game of Star Fox 64. Now, thirteen years later, I’ll probably take a sip, make the same face, and resume my game of Star Fox 64.

I don’t have my mug with me, but I think we both know what this looks like.

Color

I’ve probably said this before, but Crayola needs to put out a “Adjunct Lager” crayon. How else are little kids supposed to draw beer?

Nose

Smells more like malt liquor than Budweiser. Ice beers always smell the same. Very skunky and alcoholic.

Taste

Like Bud Light mixed with Natural Light. It’s a nice little mix of disgusting flavors. Remember those Bertie Bott’s Beans or whatever they were called? Those damned Harry Potter jellybeans? It tastes like the “earwax” one.

Final Verdict

You’d think I have some weird soft spot for Bud Ice, considering our storied history. Nah. This is putrid. I’d rather drink Natural Ice. I’ll go down in history as the only person to write the sentence “I’d rather drink Natural Ice.” .5 out of a possible 5. Here’s a chug, because who doesn’t love a chug.

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