Margaritaville Island Lime Margarita

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Today’s Mistake: Margaritaville Island Lime Margarita. Indeed, it is five o’clock somewhere.

Margaritaville Island Lime Margarita

8% alcohol by volume

23.5 ounce can

Price: $3.25

These alcopops seem to come in three varities: the relatively tame 5%, the slightly more aggressive 8%, and the “I’m going to assault a police officer tonight” 12%. You’ll almost never see 7%, or 9%, and even 11% is very rare. I guess the alcohol industry decided these three ABVs were the best for their customers’ comfort. And hey, how nice of them! These are troubling and confusing times. Last thing I need is a new proof to worry about when I’m drinking my disgusting soda-liquor. Island Lime Margarita is a Jimmy Buffett product, so I’m expecting the worst. I’d honestly like to know who buys these atrocious Margaritaville products. The average Jimmy Buffett fan is a 56 year-old fat dude, and I can’t really see them buying this green menace. I’m just praying that there aren’t any people my age listening to Jimmy Buffett, because that’d be bad news. Jimmy Buffett, Trey Anastasio, and Dave Matthews should climb aboard a plane so we can have it crash into the nearest mountain. Admittedly, the world would be a less-chill place, but think of all the assholes that would commit suicide to join their heroes in the afterlife.

From the can.

Color

It’s turquoise. Tell me, would you ever willingly ingest a turquoise liquid?

Nose

Smells like a margarita, I guess. Lots of lime and booze.

Taste

It actually doesn’t taste too bad. It’s super fake and shitty, but it’s better than Jimmy’s other drinks. Tastes like a poorly made frozen margarita.

Final Verdict

I can’t imagine Jimmy makes much from these alcopops, but he doesn’t need the money anyway. So why not poison the youth! 1.5 out of a possible 5. Here’s some Danny.

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