Maroff Light Vodka
Today’s Mistake: Maroff Light Vodka. Diet vodka.
Maroff Light Vodka
24% alcohol by volume (48 proof)
750 ml bottle
Price: $9.00
Did you know they made diet vodka? No? Neither did I. But here it is. Light vodka. It’s a measly 48 proof, which puts it in the same league as most liqueurs, but you know, without any real flavor. I suppose, if you’re really into vodka, that you might like the taste of a budget, light vodka, but I doubt it. I remember hearing about “diet vodka” a few years ago, where there was supposedly a way of making something alcoholic that had no calories, but I’m certain this is scientifically impossible. For the time being, at least. In the future, I can see this happening. In the twenties, they were saying the same about sugar. and look at all the fancy cancery aspartame we’ve got now. I’m pretty sure I won’t make it that far, especially because I drink this kind of shit, but I hope I get to see a major advance in the alcohol world. I’m a big fan of this video game called Mass Effect, a sort of space-opera RPG where you go around saving the universe from various threats. There’s a ton of cool shit, like gigantic space worms and crazy weaponry, but you know what my favorite part of the game was/is? Going to the spaceport bar and getting shit-tanked on their future booze. It’s neon green, or purple, and it looks so delicious. I ended up on the space-bathroom floor a few times. Mass Effect: It’s like college, but in space.
I actually tried a bit straight, but mostly mixed it with Sprite Zero (to keep it diet).
Color
You’re not gonna believe this, but it’s clear.
Nose
Well, pretty inoffensive, as you might imagine. You can certainly smell the vodka, just not as easily.
Taste
It was okay straight. Sort of neutered vodka flavor that wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. With the Sprite Zero, it was actually worse. Couldn’t taste it at all, and I was pouring six ounces of each (which is a mighty stiff cocktail).
Final Verdict
I was expecting stomach trouble, but this was purely average. I don’t even know where you’d find it, so don’t worry about it too much. 2 out of a possible 5. Now, let’s make this Monday interesting with some Cube.