Rheingold Lager
Today’s Mistake: Rheingold Lager. Whose drunk nephew designed that label?
Rheingold Lager
5% alcohol by volume
12 ounce bottle
Price: $7.99 (six-pack)
There’s this nifty new (or new to me at least, it’s possible I’ve never noticed it) tool on the WordPress SEO section that calculates the Flesch-Kincaid readability rating of every post. In case you’re not familiar with this, it assigns a number between 1 and 100 that determines how “readable” your article is. 1 is the hardest to read, and 100 is the easiest. Yesterday’s Daily Blackout rang up around 76.1, which means an 11 year-old could read it and possibly analyze it for grammatical and factual errors. The SEO machine praised me for having such a readable article, but honestly, screw that. I want to achieve an FK rating of 1, so only some theoretical linguistics professor at Oxford could read it. Is theoretical linguistics a real thing? I doubt it. Do I give a shit? Not really. Oh, here’s this beer and its shitty label with a stupid pigeon or something on the bottom. Oh and Happy July 4th, etc.
From the bottle.
Color
Nose
Like a dying antelope’s last breath. Which I imagine is very unpleasant.
Taste
Wow, it’s kind of good. KIND OF. It’s dry and not all that sweet, which is pretty rare in an adjunct. Not gonna win any awards, but I could drink a few of these.
Final Verdict
Rheingold was a whole lot better than I thought it’d be. Is it good? No. But I’ve had worse. 3 out of a possible 5. Here’s a classic track to do something intense to. Maybe mow the lawn or do pushups. Or drink!