5 Things Women Should Know About Men
At Current Ground, we wanted to compile a short list of 5 things every woman should know regarding men. This piece is written from the perspective of men speaking to women. By no means should this be read as dating scripture, but it may certainly prevent or reduce future grief. Without further ado, the list is below:
1) We’re simple creatures
Often, the more thought you give, the more you’re probably pushing away from reality. Our behaviors are dictated by, for the most part, primitive and clear direction. So if you’re sitting at brunch with you girlfriends wondering why he didn’t text you last night, stop. There are 2 possibilities here –
- He didn’t text you because he doesn’t want to. (cold, but clear) It wasn’t that his phone maybe died… or that he fell asleep early… or that he didn’t have cell service.
- He didn’t text you because he’s trying to avoid seeming overly interested. Guys have been instructed to act like we don’t care at first, keep that in consideration.
In either case, your best answer is to order another Bellini and forget about it. He’ll get in touch if it’s right, or he won’t if it’s not.
2) Public Displays of Affection
Guys (specifically boyfriends), by and large, do not want to engage in PDA on every street corner or shopping plaza. The classic comment always goes (“Why won’t you kiss me? Are you embarrassed by me?”)- It’s not because we don’t think you’re attractive, or are embarrassed by having to show emotion in public; it’s because we don’t want to be that guy. Who is “that guy” you ask? That guy is the one who is sloppily leaning on his girlfriend while walking through the mall, having a parting kiss every time she steps 6 feet away, or holding his girlfriend’s hand all through Saturday brunch at Denny’s. I don’t think you, as girlfriends, want us to be this guy either.
3) Guy Time
Contrary to common belief, this term does not exclusively describe where we drink, smoke, lie, and brag about anything and everything under the sun (though that certainly can happen). All guys need enough space to maintain healthy interactions with our buddies. We’re attracted to girls who can carry on their business happily without us. We just want to play a role, be a piece of the puzzle, not the whole thing.
There’s nothing that will send a guy running to the hills faster than to exhibit behavior that shows you’re dependent on us for fun, especially if we haven’t been together for that long. This dependence, while it might be natural, feels like a burden to us. The solution- do both of us a favor and choose to be with your friends over us from time to time. Trust us, we both can benefit from the space.
I’ll preface this section by saying these comments are more flexible in their application. However, here are some things we ask:
- Don’t dwell on things. If we both have something to say, then let’s say it.
- Let’s not fight over text messaging, no one wins.
- Give a little bit. We want to apologize and meet in the middle; we’d love for you to do the same.
- Don’t bring a fight to the surface in public; let’s settle it behind closed doors.
The answer- let’s get together and talk about it. We understand that it takes time to forgive, but we’d prefer to show you how we can/have changed than talk about what we did wrong.
5) If you want to date us…
Don’t sleep with us on the first night. This might be a given, but it’s the quickest way for a girl to be partitioned into the “not gonna call her again” bin. You’re not going to get the knight in shining armor, you’re just going to get the night. While I know that social pressures force young people into these situations sooner than we expect, please make us wait for a while. Trust me, we, as men, do possess enough patience to subdue our primal desire for a few more interactions, you just have to force us to recognize it. Any girl that gives in too quickly isn’t getting the invitation home for Thanksgiving, they’ll be lucky to find themselves on a date with us at Chili’s.